That's the essence of the song "Rude" by the band Magic! And while these 10 dads may not all be on the same page about whether or not they'd like to actually be asked permission for their daughter's hand in marriage, these fathers are all in … I am not one who is usually without words, but didn’t really know where to go from here. Evidently, it was considered important to watch over them in order to protect and to guide them in their choice of a husband. Being the father of the bride and having a daughter get married can be a little traumatic. Of all these, the tradition that I have always thought most objectionable - but I imagined had ceased to exist - is that of fathers being asked for their daughters' hand in marriage. Fathers would usually make the decision as to whether the man asking for marriage is suited for his daughter and for joining the family. Throughout the years it has become a common courtesy to ask a father’s permission before asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Prepare to ask a girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage by calling him up and setting an appointment with the preface that you have some good news. Fathers, there really is another, more effective, more loving, more fruitful way for you to care for your daughters in their pursuit of marriage. If your girlfriend’s father has died, wasn’t around when she was growing up, or is simply a jerk that his daughter avoids contact with, ask the mother. The “daughter sale” evolved into a non-monetary tradition of asking the father before proposing. If you are not familar with him, you should study the situation for both of them. If you’re curious as to why they are making the step now, you might ask what has changed, such as if she is pregnant, or if they have a better income, or if they simply felt that now "Is the right time to get married." Welcome to the exclusive group of soon-to-be fathers-in-law. Read this letter slowly and reflectively. What is the meaning, though, behind the wedding tradition of a father giving his daughter away to enjoy wedded bliss with her groom? ), but, oh no—it's way more nerve-wracking than it sounds. I started dating my wife in high school, 3 years out of high school I decided to ask her. If your daughter and her intended are living together, you might quip that it is about time they decided to make it legal or how glad you are that they will finally tie the knot. There are traditions regarding asking the father of one’s beloved for her hand in marriage; however, these are almost ancient history at this point. Her wedding is an important rite of passage for you, your partner, your daughter, and her fiancé. But one real dad has a response to this song. A boyfriend goes to his girlfriend's father to ask for her hand in marriage. 7) However attached we may be to the tradition of prospective husbands first asking the father for his daughter’s hand in marriage, we should realize that it comes from an age when single women were legally and economically dependent on their fathers… A father could refuse the marriage proposal if he deemed the gentleman unsuitable. that's straightforward Spanish) Judson’s Letter to Mr. Hasseltine Asking for His Daughter’s Hand in Marriage Does it set the tone for how my fiance will treat me in the marriage? We want to express this through the oath of marriage, and I intend to ask her as soon as possible. Depends on how well the father knows the potential son-in-law and his daughter's relationship with him. (And for anyone who knew Mr White, characteristic) …“Mr White, Marion and I would like to get married,” or words to that effect, he said. Be willing to take the initiative with the young man early on, and then be willing to follow through with some practical, gracious, firm, … The age-old tradition has been known to show respect to the future in-laws; in essence, it has become proposal etiquette 101. One of the oldest rules of Proposal Etiquette 101 is for the groom to ask the bride-to-be’s father for permission to get married. For instance, if your girlfriend grew up with her mom and rarely or never saw her father, do not feel obligated to ask him for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Knowing that he wanted to marry Ann, but also knowing the hardships that they were sure to face being on the mission field, he wrote Ann’s father a letter asking for her hand in marriage with these realities in mind. Of course, a daughter is not required to obey you, and neither is the guy. The past 20 or 30 years have seen a significant relaxing of some of the more formal elements of the process, including the age-old tradition of the prospective groom asking permission of his father-in-law-to-be for his daughter’s hand in marriage. ME: Ya, I know, I …. You can click here to see more about the history of asking a father for permission to marry his daughter. ME: Doug, I was calling to ask for your daughters hand in marriage. One of the most traditional speeches at a wedding is the father of the bride speech, where the proud dad gets to brag about how amazing his daughter is and how lucky her partner is to be marrying her. The father says no, and the boy calls him rude. In today's modern world, couples often discuss marriage together, coming to a mutual agreement rather than a formal proposal. In the South, we like to keep some traditions alive, even when the rest of the country tosses them out the window.Parents, and especially fathers, still fully expect for a man to ask his (or both parents) permission before proposing to his daughter, and most Southern guys are more than willing to undergo a certain amount of grilling in order to earn that permission. Doug: Hey, she’s a smart girl, that’s up to her. Check out our expert's opinion It was important to my father to know that, if he said no and he didn't approve right now, the proposal wouldn't happen until he was ready to let his little girl go. A father should respond honestly when he asked by a man for his daughters hand in marriage. It started with a contract, a sort of trade agreement if you will, between father of the bride and soon-to-be groom. It is clear that daughters were given in marriage by the fathers. After her mother has agreed to the marriage, inform her father that you’ve asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage. The response of Marion’s father to their proposed marriage is a classic. Capulet is uncertain because his daughter, … Does it matter? According to psychologist Kevin Leman, a child development expert, “That evidence shows that a father’s relationship with his daughter is one of the key determinants in a woman’s ability to enjoy a successful life and marriage. The Mosaical law did not require that a father be asked to give permission to a man to marry his daughter, but it did give a father the right to halt a marriage that was forced because a man had raped an un-engaged woman (Exodus 22:16-17; Deuteronomy 22:28-29). Parents Divorced-Father Remarried-Should Fiance ask father for hand in marriage for his daughter? it's something to think about. All fathers are like that, they want to know that it is THEIR decision whether or not you or any other guy can marry their daughter. British Mumsnet users fiercely debated whether or not fathers should be asked for their daughter's hand in marriage, with some branding the practice 'sexist' and 'outdated'. 11. Now, just request his blessing and support in you asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage. If the father approves of the man then he should accept the … father's response to a marriage proposal for his daughter's hand in marriage? The father would then present his daughter’s hand to be joined in marriage. Asking for a bride's hand in marriage… Father daughter quotes are special because the father-daughter bonding is truly unique. (I would like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage) posted by DrGirlfriend at 6:50 PM on November 15, 2007 (and there shouldn't be any local DR idioms that would apply, in my opinion. This might seem easy (you know, just tell the guy how you feel and there's no way he'll say no! Your life experiences and judgement can help them decide whether to get married or not. Count Paris, a wealthy gentleman, visits Lord Capulet to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Before there can be a groom, there must first be a man in love—a man so in love he's ready to face the ultimate challenge to prove it: asking his partner's father (or parents) for his blessing. It's "Rude (The Dad's Side of the Story)." Wedding traditions have been carried out through the years in a variety of cultures. Update : My daughter's boyfriend, which we like very much , has asked me and my wife out for dinner tomorrow night. "Seeking permission to marry my princess, son what's wrong with your big head?" Answer Save. "Mr. SoandSo. Why every father wants to be asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage As Sheryl Sandberg questions traditional marriage proposals, proud dad Richard Madelely explains why some things are … I'm writing you out of respect, and hope that you can give me your best wishes (and blessings, if he's religious). Find out more on this time-old tradition and … Whether your parents expect your partner to ask for your hand in marriage or not, it's still something to consider. Father-daughter bonding is special. After all, some young man is taking your place as the most important male in your daughter's life. Wedding speeches can be a pretty nerve-wracking concept, especially when you’re the person making one!. We have spoken about our future together. I may be getting engaged soon and I need to know if my boyfriend/fiance should ask my father for my hand in marriage. I'm in love with your daughter, and she is in love with me. 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